Vacation pics

The kids have been so awesome!!!! Was not that excited about heading out of town right after Christmas but we have had such a great trip. Everyone having fun and just relaxing. Arden loved the waterpark and brudder and mom hit the outlet mall. He has had one of his best weekends ever. Usually if he even gets close to eating time he is fussing and today he would go over time and be smiley fun. HOORAY

Christmas vacation

We are in Pigeon Forge at the awesome hotel with a waterpark inside. Since we have boy in the room and I am looking less than fabulous in a bathing suit--Matt is there right now with Arden and the rest of my family. We had a good Christmas this year. Arden got a bike that she is too scared to ride but she did LOVE her snow globe. That is what she really really wanted. Ha. it's the little things. Of course brother is not really wanting anything except Momma---which he gets all the time--spoiled boy. I am just hoping and praying for a good 2 nights out of town in a 1 bedroom suite with 8 people. I am just not so sure. Brock woke up every 2 hours last night to eat...blah. I am definately not over sleep deprivation. Usually he only wakes up once at about 3am. I can't believe that he is 3 months now. I am trying to gear up to get back in shape but just hitting the sack early if I ever have free time after work. I am so not loving my post holiday body. I have been terrible about just eating whatever. I am going to have new years resolution this year. Anyway, enough about that. I will upload pictures later because the boy just woke and is crying to get picked up. Hope everyone had a great christmas.

Baby Jesus and Lyon

Matt and i are terrible about checking Arden's back pack from school. We just pick her up and then don't even look in there till we are packing lunch the next day. Well this morning Matt looked in there and there was a nativity manger scene picture and Matt asked Arden who it was. She said "baby Jesus" and he said what is that tall ones name and she said "Mary and Lyon"--like he was french or something. We both busted out laughing. Then about 5 minutes later she asked me where brother came from. I always say out of my belly but she thinks the doctor cut him out or he came out my belly button. I decided the truth is probably best so i told her there was a hole and I pointed to where that babies came out of and it got bigger and you pushed the baby out when it was time. She asked "do I have a hole" and I said "yes". About 5 min later i hear her grunting in the living room and I run in there and ask what is going on. She tells me she is trying to push her baby out. Why do i try to explain these things? ha

On another note, Brock is doing so much better. He has gained a pound in the last 2 weeks and really seems to be maturing. Not having the colic at night and not as much gas and stomach problems. Don't know why both my kids have stomach problems around month 2 but they just do. He is really acting alot different. So much sweeter. Now I am letting him sleep and he is sleeping a 7 hour stretch which makes me feel very normal and I LOVE it. He is such a spoiled boy because of me. I can't help it---he is so dang cute. I just want to squeeze him all the time. I am constantly talking baby talk to him and he is getting petted on by his sister. He is going to be rotten. So hard to get work done with him around. He is turning into a little cuddle man. Last night he couldn't get to sleep so i laid down beside him and let him hold my hand and he was out in just about 30 seconds. It was like it comforted him. SO SWEET. Arden has been such a good big sister. She has to hug and kiss him and tell him she loves him all the time. It is an amazing thing to see--to think about that they will always have each other--even when i am gone. so neat. I will try to post some pics later. love to all

colic world

Yes, we are the newest members. I was hoping would not be true but after having to leave work on thursday and then him acting like a complete angel on friday--then demon again yesterday--I just don't know what else to chalk it up to. So,I can handle this . done it before. Main reason i was so upset was because I have been disappointed that we would have to go through this again. ask anyone that has been through it---makes it hard to enjoy these first few months--even though you still can. You just want to make it better and you can't. He will cry and pump his legs and arms like he is running a marathon in place. I usually have to nurse him to calm him down but that is not enjoyale either because he is yanking and pulling the whole time because he wants to relax and can't. It at least makes him stop crying so i will do whatever it takes. Man am I thankful for the special cream that I got from access pharmacy. It has saved my life. I am pretty tired because doc said to start waking him up again to nurse because he said he is going too long between feedings and wants him to gain quicker (me too but hard with all that crying). So I am back to newborn days. In fact he was going longer than 3 hours apart when we got home from hospital so i am pretty exhausted . Add that to the fact that I am worried to leave him for fear he will have a meltdown on anyone else. I don't even like to know he was crying like that on Matt. I say all this and then tomorrow he will be a complete angel. It is just a day to day thing where you just have to see what he is going to do. He can still be the most charming dimple baby. My MIL kept him the other night and he was complete sweet boy and even waited for me to get home to eat. I got to go see "new moon". So awesome. But then yesterday he could not go more than 2.5 hours without crying to eat and making the sucking motion. blah. So that is what we are doing. Matt has already put up our christmas decor. I sure am glad because if he didn't it wasn't going up. It is all i can do to let some laundry get done and the dishes not overflowing. On a good note he has started to like his swing. Arden loved the swing so i am so glad. He likes to sit in it while we run the blow dryer. Yes, he is his father's child. That is a Matt thing. My sister Cassie did it too. Now you can turn on the blow dryer and Arden will come in there and want to get under it. What is this world coming to. ha. Anyway, we are making it. This is just life as we have ever known it with a newborn. My dreams of sweet easy baby are crushed about 50% of time but you just wait. When he is 6months he may be just like his sis who was so easy we could go anywhere.At least he sleeps good at night and always has. I look forward to bedtime with him and with Arden i would cry when the sun went down. That has made a HUGE difference. sleeping at night is a good thing. Matt just tickled Arden and she screamed which woke up swingin' boy so i gotta run.

Pucker face

So, Matt has made a new rendition of Lady GaGa's "Poker face" for our son. Pucker face. He sings it when Brock does his bottom lip out and furrows his eye brows and wrinkles the forehead. I will say that our boy may not have colic but he officially has one bad temper. He now hates his car seat. He was the boy who never once cried in the car for the first month and now he will scream all the way home from work and all the way to work. THe only thing that makes it better is that (unlike with Arden) it does not make my heart race and make me want to vomit. I just turn up the radio. Arden just ignores him-which is another big plus. It would be worse if she was crying because he was or telling him to be quiet. He is still a spoiled adorable cuddle bug but he is making it known that he is NOT laid back. He will let you know if something is bothering him etc. It is a change but not so bad actually. I was hoping he would be the most chilled out kid but if you look at the gene pool that he came from---SLIM CHANCE. So, he will scream if I am holding him and someone (esp. males that arent dad) come and take him away. Then when they hand him back he is fine. He will scream (never fails) the whole time i am in the shower in the morning-because he can't see me. As soon as I get out and talk to him or pick him up he is golden. So, that is my life for now. The best thing is that he loves the morning and when i am fixing my coffee and sometimes in the middle of the night he is making the sweetest baby noises. He wants to talk so bad. What am I going to do with 2 talkers. HA. Anyway, we are doing great. Just trying to cover the basics and nothing more. If I can do work and grocery, little bit of family outings, Arden's school stuff, laundry, dishes, etc. That is a good day. I am even getting to exercise some. Will have to get serious about that in a month or 2 but right now sleep is taking first place.

say it ain't so..

Brock went for his one month appt. Tuesday and he weighed 8lb8oz and had grown to 20 3/4" inches. He has a little acne and the doc said that is probably because he is going through a growth spurt. He is still sleeping pretty good. Most nights there is only one wake up in the middle of the night but sometimes he will do every 3 hours still. He has gotten more fussy in the last couple weeks. If he wakes up in the night or daytime he wants to nurse immediately if it has been 3 hours. Even if you try to talk to him -he does not want to hear it-he wants to eat. NOW! He will start throwing a fit. I noticed that he has started to cry in the car (if he loses his pacifer) and for a month he never once cried in the car. He will just fuss more overall if he wants to do something other than what you have him doing. I think it is pretty normal--it is definately not like the 24/7 hour colic we had with Arden. I just wonder because it has changed a little in the past 2 weeks and when i talked to the doc about it he said he said colic developes around 3 weeks and goes to 3 months. He does have little episodes almost every night-only lasting about 30min. where he will cry and you can't do anything for him. Mom said that each one of us had an hour of time that we did that every day. It isn't even every day. I am just a little scared that this will keep getting worse and he will have colic like Arden. I remember the sleep deprivation and the helpless feeling and I don't want to do that again. It was not a fun time. Yesterday he had a bad day and I even put him in the car and drove him around before i went to get Arden from school. I was pretty out of sorts. Just that little glimpse into colic or fussiness and I was afraid. He is growing and starting to say his little goo goo words. He is also smiling at his mommy in the mornings.

at Arden's halloween parade

1 month today-time for birth story

I have been promising but now I am ready to write about Brock's birth story. Here are some specific things I prayed for *that I would be able to have a VBAC since I had a csection with Arden * that I would have not complications in labor with my scar or bleeding * that the baby would be able to handle the stress of labor without becoming stressed himself * that he would come out knowing how to nurse and want to* that we would not have colic this time around* that my doc would be the one to deliver the baby* 5 hour labor if I was ambitious but I would settle for 7* healthy mom and baby.
So those are the things I had been praying about. On Wednesday night I was feeling pretty crampy/contractiony so decided to get in bathtub to try to relieve some pain and relax my body. I started having bad contractions in my back to where I could not lay in the tub and had to get out in my towel and move to the bed to stretch out. Matt was getting Arden ready for church. I told him maybe he should just wait to see what was going on. I texted my parents since I knew they were getting ready for church too and told them maybe they should come get Arden to spend the night. I don't know why i was thinking "maybe" at this point but I was just unsure because I had that false labor a week early. This was definately feeling more pain than when i went in before. Mom came and decided to stay once she saw me and Dad took Arden to church. She started timing my contractions. I was sitting on the birthing ball and bascially holding my breath when i had the contraction. Obviously I didn't have too much experience with lamaze. Well, mom quickly coached me on labor breathing and how I had to remain calm and just get through each contraction. She told me it was just like playing a sport--you had "to get in the zone". If you know me this was a very telling moment of how well my mother knows me. I don't know why her being here for the early part and really the whole thing makes the whole experience so special. I know this is one of those things that I remember when I am old or when my mother is gone. I will remember that night and her helping me to deliver our son---but i am getting all sappy. blah. tears. okay. So,she was timing my contractions and I was begging not to go to the hospital because I had horrible time when i went at night before. My contractions got to 2 minutes apart and I was bleeding so she told me we were going. By that time I was a little scared and said okay. it was raining terrible outside and when we called in the ONLY doctor in the practice tha would not preform a VBAC was on call. I looked like an idiot on the way there and walking through hospital (just like you see on tv) having to stop to hold the railing and breathing with eyes closed. When we got there Triage was full and the waiting room was full. They told me there was at least 3 girls in front of me. I didn't even have a place to sit in waiting room and none of these girls were in labor. I was in the hall standing up and laboring in the hall. Then a nurse (not one of the mean ones from the false labor night) came and whispered for me to follow her. When we got in this humongous room she told me that she could tell i was in pain and this was the real thing because she had 2 kids. Her name was Chandra and she was from South Pitsburg so she was talking to me in a way I understand saying things like "You're doing great SIS" or "Bless your heart-we are trying to get your blood work done so we can get you some drugs". HA. She seriously worked a double shift to watch our son be born and she was pregnant. When she checked me I was 4cm and she started my blood work promising as soon as it was done I could get an epidural. It took them 2 hours to get it and get the fluids in me that I needed. By then I was 6cm. Mom called the doctor that was on call and explained to him that I was a VBAC patient and he said he would not deliver me..... so she asked him to call my doc. He did and Doc Barker got there soon after I got my epidural. I loved the epi except when they gave it to me the girl could not get it in and kept insisting that I sit still--which i was --but was having hard contractions. She stuck me 5 times and I had one of the many side effects. My BP dropped and they had to call the code and come and flip me on to my side. Should have been scary but I was feeling so much better with the epi. I could actually talk to my nurses and mom and Matt. It was about 12:30 and I was 6cm so I was thinking I might just hit my timeline since I got to the hospital around 10:30 but after an hour I had only changed .5 cm because of the epidural and they had to give me a dose of pitocin to increase contractions. I didn't sleep in all this time and by the time that I felt ready to sleep I had dialated to 9cm and I could feel my contractions again.By 4am I was 10cm but the baby was only at station 1 and they have to be at 3 to be crowning. Chandra gave me the option to have more drugs or not. She suggested not to since the baby still had such a way to go and she said that for my height and size I had one of the smallest pelvic structures she had seen. So, I decided no. I know it was a good decision- I don't think i would have been able to push him out if not. We started practicing some pushes and we did that for over an hour. The encouraging part was that she could see his hair when I would push but he was stuck on my pelvic bone. He was moving down but not very fast. One bad thing is that she kept suspecting that he was face up so I kept getting checked to see. That was very very painful-while having contractions. I pushed about an hour and half and she decided to call doc down-he was sleeping in the hospital. Well, they couldn't find him. It took 30 more minutes of pushing till they found him. Mom and Matt were the ones that were helping me then-holding legs and coaching. So many people talk about not being able to move their legs or toes and I will tell you I could have gotten up and walked around the room. I could wiggle toes and move up and down the bed. Doc finally got there and checked me and said that I could probably push another 20min and baby would not be out. At this point I was nearing exhaustion. I remember when he said that a tear trickled out the corner of my eye. He suggested the forceps and I said whatever would get him here. So he used them and they are scary and huge. I still had to push for another 15-20 minutes. Even once the baby crowned he did not slip out like you see on tv. I will tell you I have never in my life felt that kind of pain. I can't even explain. It felt like my body was going to explode. The nurse had suggested that people call it the "ring of fire" when the baby crowns and I would say that is extremely acurate except it hurts more than that. When i gave the last push and he was out the doc had to cut the ambilical cord before he could hold him up. It was one of the shortest cords he had ever seen. only about 10in. I just remember that when he held him up for me to see it was once of the most powerful moments of my life. I just felt empowered. Something about it felt like being part of a miracle--not just watching (like with my csection) but helping. It was amazing to say the least. I was crying and Mom and Matt were saying "you did it!" I was thinking "we all did it-doc barker, mom , matt, me, chandra". It really was a team effort. At any turn if God had not answered so many prayers I would have labored all that time and ended up in a c section. I am so thankful that I got to experience it. On the downside the day you have the baby physically you feel like "what was I thinking" "15min. c section, still wearing makeup, sounds great as opposed to 100 stitches down there". But the next day is just so different. I felt normal. I can't tell you how awesome the recovery has been. You can even exercise after 2 weeks.I would not have been able to care for Arden at all if I had another c section. Brock nursed right in the delivery room and has not looked back so that is another answered prayer. He was such a cone head but other than that-he had no problems from the forceps or spending so long pushing. I delivered in 8.5 hours--more than I wanted but still great. My doc delivered my baby and I had angel nurse. I was perfectly healthy and so was our boy at 7lb3oz. Doc Barker even checked my scar after I delivered the placenta and said it seemed great. Another very amazing thing is that before our doctor left he had Matt and I come together and he prayed for us and thanked God for Brock's safe arrival and prayed for his life as a believer. One of the nurses had never heard a doctor pray before. So, I had my birth experience that i had always wanted. God answered my prayers and gave me the desires of my heart. I will remember it when i am an old lady on my death bed. I know that if we have another child I will want to try again. It is so much pain on the day but the experience is so amazing. I had a great c section but it was just so cool to have both experiences. I am so lucky.

day at home with my boy

Arden went camping with my parents and Matt is helping his sister move so it is just me and little boy at home today. So great. He slept in till 10:30 and I got up about 9 and got my book and coffee and got back into bed with him. He played in his bouncer while I showered and dried my hair and then we went to pick up some lunch. Of course the car seat made him tired so he is taking another little nap. He is so easy and snuggley. I am calling him "spoiled boy" or "brud" . This experience has been so amazing. I was laying in bed this morning trying to pray and I just kept saying "thank you, thank you , thank you" I just didn't even have the words. God has answered so many of my prayers with Brock. I had such a hard time with Arden as a newborn, even though she was a dream once we passed 6 months. I prayed that I just would not go back there this time around. So many specific prayers were answered about his delivery. It was nothing short of a miracle that I was able to go through with the VBAC. So many things had to be just right. Then he nursed right in the delivery room. Nursing has been enjoyable this time. It is just night and day from my experience last time. He sleeps in the night---as opposed to being up all night. I am just so blessed and pretty overwhelmed with how good God has been to our family. I don't know how to explain what changed when we had Brock. I just know that our family felt so much more complete and I thought it was complete before. I think all of us feel that way--Matt and Arden too. I also have taken the advice of one of my friends, Shelly, this time around. I remember he saying to me--give yourself some grace. I just felt so bad about how I was not back to normal right away. This time I am so not concerned with me and just trying to enjoy him. I know that it is partially my mental state that will dictate how the experience of these early months plays out in my memory. I was so overcome with fear after I had Arden---all the emotions were so overwhelming. I could barely function--I loved my baby so much and had to protect her. This time around I pray that God will keep Satan away. That I won't live in fear-that I can trush HIM. I was holding both him and Arden in the recliner the other night and I just felt like my heart would bust. They are both so precious to me. I still struggle with knowing that they are truly God's and not all MINE. I know they are mine to take care of and raise but I just feel so much pride and warmth and completion through my children. I can't imagine my life without them. God has been so good to our family. too good! I just don't deserve all of his blessings and so many answered prayers. Our God is big!!!!

P is for pajamas and pancake

Arden is studying the letter P at school and they had pajama day with pancakes as a snack. She is doing school 3 days a week 9-2. She really loves it. She prayed thank you for my school last night. So good for her to have her own thing right now. That gives me time to go to work before I have to go and pick her up--which is also nice. I need to be better about posting and I have time at home. It is hard to type on my portable laptop though because it is the size of the envelope. Not really but it has the tiniest, most sensitive keyboard. I am still going to post my birth story--before i forget.
I am feeling great. Don't love my flabby new waistline but that is a given for someone with a 3 week old baby. Boy is doing GREAT! I can't even believe it. He slept from 12:30 to 6 this morning. I am loving it. I go to bed with Arden about 9 or 9:30 and Matt stays up watching tv/doing work and watches the baby. Then he wakes me around midnight. Most times he will wake up again around 3 or 4 to nurse and then at 7:30-8 BUT last night he slept till 6. Yeah good boy! I feel like I am going to explode when he goes that long.I actually woke up at 5:15 thinking i was going to bust this morning. He is sweet cuddle boy too. But he is still little so I am going to try to keep him home for the next 3 weeks or so before getting him in a crowd. We will see.
His sister has been more problematic these days. Not bad but just whiney. I can't really stand it because I have to give multiple warning about stop it and if she doesn't then I have to follow through with threats and give spanking. She also will start crying about the least thing--like "i wanted to wear my jacket" blah blah blah. I was telling Matt last night that it is best just not to let that kind of behavior continue. crying about stuff does not get her way. So, that is a little challenging. she is still so funny and sweet but we are just rolling with the punches. That's it for now. Boy fixing to wake up to nurse.

1 week old

So we have a 1 week old boy now. I have stopped setting the alarm at night to feed him every 3 hours. I know i always did that with Arden but I am following mom's conventional experienced wisdom of not waking a sleeping baby. Plus I am pretty zonked at night and will take an extra hour if he will give it to me. He usually still wakes up every 3 but will sometimes take a 4 or 4.5 stretch before he wakes up for the morning. He is a good boy. He is still nursing well and is cuddle bug. I have had some of the typical hormone related feelings this week and they have really ran the gamit. I have been so happy that I cried, proud, feeling like a million bucks, sad for no reason, cry because I am lonely home alone, anxious about baby getting sick, laid back........you just name it. Overall, I have been healing so well and feeling great myself. I am really enjoying him so much more than I was able to with Arden. I just love holding him and rubbing his head. He is precious.

Brock Matthew Beach

Our son is here. He was born 9/17 at 6:40am. 7.3oz and 19.5in. I will post later with the details of the birth. I was able to have a VBAC and it was an awesome experience. God worked out so many of the things I had prayed for with the delivery and just with Brock's personality in general. This has been a very different experience to have a 38week 4 day baby than a 34 week 4 day baby. those 4 weeks really make a difference. They make a difference for mom and baby. You are ready for the baby to be here and are more prepared mentally instead of being kinda sad that it is all over. I feel sure that I would not have done as well with a vaginal birth if I had not had so much time to prep my mind--and still it was very difficult to push through the hard parts of labor. My recovery so far has been awesome!!! I can't imagine having a c section this time with a 3 year old at home. It would have been horrible. I would have had someone there constantly to help with her and me. At least I feel okay and I can do stuff around the house. I can sit up quickly without pain this time too. It was bad the day that he was born but by the second day I could not even believe the difference in how your body feels after. I only take tylenol for pain--even in the hospital. That is just so different.
Brock is such a good eater. This was one of the biggest obstacles with Arden. He even latched on in the recovery room right after he was born. I can't tell you how it changes things to be able to nurse your baby in 30 min and then get some rest or go on to do something else without it being an hour to get him awake and then an hour fighting with them to nurse. Matt says that we are already to about the 3 month mark if we compare this with our Arden timeline. Every feeding was emotional and frustrating. I couldn't think about anything else and she was so tiny and fragile. Baby boy can already hold his head a little and I am just not as worried about him physically. 2lbs is a big difference in babies. Arden did not weigh 7lbs before 2 months.
We are trying to get used to life at home. Matt is helping tons. I sometimes think that the hardest part is keeping Arden from hurting the baby or just dealing with her not liking to share our time. She usually wants to get what she asks for "now" and she is having to wait. This is a very good thing for her to learn but it is a learning process. Also juggling making sure that I am spending time reading to her and holding her in the bed and not doing too much disciplining. She has been doing this little drama queen stuff lately and I can't stand it. She loves her brother so much ! she is really proud of him and likes him to be in the room with her all the time and to hold him. She is super protective of him.
I am just enjoying this time. I know this could be my last time with a newborn and it is so much sweeter this time around. I am really enjoying having a little baby to hold and I am not really a newborn person. I consider myself a toddler person more. But this time with him has been extremely sweet.
I had my first hormone crying breakdown yesterday. Arden was one side sleeping and he was in his pack and play on the other side and I just started bawling. This should be my nap time---they were both asleep. BUT I could not stop crying. God is so good to me. I don't deserve. It is hard not to feel overwhelmed with the goodness of it all.

prayers please

So, as most of you know since I am a texting maniac--we had some false labor on Friday night. I think I am finally rested enough to be able to "own up" to some of the reason for it and think clearly about what to write. Last week I was slamming everything in-thinking this could be my last week. I was getting ready for our Sunday auction (which ironically I missed). I was cleaning my desk up for "after auction" in case someone was actually sitting at my desk instead of me---yes, control freak here. I had to get in some walks with Shelly since I haven't got to do that lately and thought that would move baby down. I had to get in extra time with Arden so that she doesn't feel like second best when brother finally gets here. I have been cleaning and even had a night to myself of dinner and shopping. I have been on overload. I just knew this baby was getting close and wanted everything done. I can be so psycho when this mentality kicks in-I will just keep slamming extra things in and when things go wrong--wow! you had better watch out.

So, Friday I started having back labor contractions every 5-7 minutes from the time I arrived at work. I have always thought I would labor at home/work for as long as possible so i just walked through them and kept track of how often and long they were. This went on all day till I left at 6pm. then I went out to dinner with family and to coffee with Chelsea after that. I had let Arden spend night with mom and dad since Mom was concerned this was it. I got home about 10pm and Matt and I were actually going to have a night at home to watch 9/11 tribute on the history channel. Well, for about 2 days I had told Matt dog was scratching alot. Had even thought I saw something on him but when i asked Matt to check he started acting like I was being typical crazy pregnant woman and said it was an ant. Well, dog was scratching again and I went and held him down. Looked at his belly and there it was--same little friend I had seen the other day. I went ballistic. Matt still refused to check but did go to walmart at 10pm and buy flea bath/spray/upholstery cleaner etc. I was almost in tears. Here I am 3-5 min apart contractions and I have a dog with fleas. I am not happy. I am on verge of melt down. Matt still won't check dog-would rather act like I am just a crazy person so that is putting me that much further over the edge. Finally he gets home and checks to say I was right. I am in a frenzy of cleaning, spraying, and putting up all babies stuff as far from dog as possible. I am so grossed out from preg.nesting hormone I want to puke. So finally that passes and I am contracting way more. Harder too. Hard to talk through them and many trips to bathroom, if you get me. I decide it is about 1am and I am exhausted--maybe I can lay down and they will go away. Well they don't. In fact at 3am I just up out of bed in pain and say that's it. Call doc-he says go to L&D. So we are there about 3:30 and get the luck of the most "hating their job & sleep deprived nurses on planet". They are walking so slow while I am contracting. Worst part was when the girl checks me (in the most non-gentle fashion that I have ever been checked) and says I might be contracting but am still 1cm. I wanted to cry and go home. Both I and doc thought it would be showtime. I had to stay for an hour contracting in bed and nothing happening. I was super disappointed and exhausted. They gave me some pain pill which did nothing but successfully almost made me pass out. great! It was like icing on cake. I ended up being there till 6am when they let me go home still contracting. I was so discouraged. Took me till about 7:30am to get to bed (after just sitting in bathtub) and stop contracting enough to sleep. On Saturday, I felt like a Truck had ran me over about 10000000 times and left me for dead. I stayed in bed all day. i was just trying to get my mind around that I was going ot get to go through all this again. Or that I was actually going to have to have another c-section if it happened like this again. I was so scared I would start contracting again that I just stayed in bed. I lost my plug Sat. morning too and that scared me even more about what crazy mean nurse had did when she was checking me. I was pretty beat down. Mom told me that I was going to stay in bed and let my body recoup and get ready for round 2 and let boy get ready until my Wednesday's doc appt.
So that is what I have been doing. It has been a blessing in disguise. I have gotten to rest before/enjoy just watching tv with ARden. I have been doing little things around house but getting in bed anytime that I start contracting. Just don't want my over active uterus to force boy out when he obviously is not ready to come. It has also given me some time to let the fact that I am not control of this situation sink in. I am such a control freak and that was part of my problem with Arden. When things didnt go the way I planned, I had so much disappointment with my expectations. So, I am doing lots of praying that I will be able to do this and God will let my little man get here safe and in his time and if it isn't too much to ask that I won't have to have a c-section. But also praying for the perspective to know that God is in control and I don't need to be disappointed no matter how it turns out. So pray for me. I think he will be here very soon.

doc's appt & bets

So, went to the doc and it looks like the contractions have been working. HOORAY! I am so excited because if i can progress some then i won't have repeat c-section. I am 1cm dialated and 80% effaced. The doc also stripped my membranes--I know that sounds really yucky but it should help things along. I am having some serious contraction episodes at night and in the mornings so he said when those don't die off then I can meet him at the hospital. I am having some labor type contractions but they usually only last about 30 min and I go back to regular braxton hicks. So, I am anxious about the surprise! so exciting not to know. He said he doesn't think i will have the baby this week but just in case he is on call this weekend. He said it depends on how the exam effects me. Here is how everyone lines up.
9/9/09 today- Kristen, Diane, Me ( i am picking 2 dates because I am the mom and I get to)
9/12/09 -Emma (her bday)
9/13/09-Lois (it's alice's bday and auction day)
9/14/09-Jerry & Andi
9/15/09-Matt and Abbbie M. (it is Aunt Tracies bday)
9/16/09-Amanda
9/18/09- my mom & Courtney & Chelsea
9/19/09- me (my other pick), Lucy P.
9/20/09-Julie V.
9/21/09-MIMI
9/26/09-Buddy
9/28/09-my due date.
10/15/09-Uncle Larry

Laura H. says this week but she hasn't given me a date yet. We shall see...

taking bets------------

So, I have a doc's appointment on wednesday. I am 37 weeks today. Our baby is now officially full term so I am saying--come when you are ready little boy,just make sure you are safe. Mom is voting 9/18, chas says this week but i haven't got a day yet, Matt is voting 9/12-his mom's bday, I am saying 9/9/09 or 9/19/09 because when I am old these will be easy to remember and 9/29/09 is a day late--plus it's my birthday. I am anxious to hear what everyone things. I have plenty of intense braxton hicks--pretty much all day. I have to get up and walk. I have some cramps but my back does not hurt (so I am lucky lucky lucky). I have some real contractions at night and when i go to the bathroom. But nothing timeable. I am sleeping good and dreaming tons--so these are things to be thankful for. Some things I am not so thankful for is the fact that most days I can wake up and feel like I can take on the world, but then by 4pm I feel like poo. On Saturday we went to Saddie's bday party at the pumpkin patch. It is such a cool play ground. Here is a picture of the big slide that I went down with Arden about 5 times. It is fast and maybe my doc wouldn't approve but we are close now and it was very fun.




Anyway, I felt better at Sadie's party than I did at Arden's (almost 2 months ago). I was thinking -I got this preg. thing in the bag. I am 9+ month pregnant and completley fine. Well, i felt pretty good rest of the day. watched UT game. went to fabric store. cleaned house. but about 5pm I started hurting so bad that I had to go outside and walk. I am one of these people that feels better with defered pain than just laying down or sitting when it hurts. i will be the woman in labor walking around hosptial. Matt suggested that I walk where it is flat and he can see me so we went to rivermont park & he let Arden play on playground while i walked for 30min. It did help but then I have the achey crotch from the weight. I figured it was time to stop then. So this a typical day. Feel really good/ then really bad. Matt kept asking if we should call doc. I said no way because I was not in labor . I told him doc can't do anything about feeling terrible pressure and will just want to know how far apart contractions are. this was like one never ending contraction. So, anyway. I could go to my due date with no progression this time and have a c-section. i am trying to mentally prepare in case all these contractions don't amount to a hill of beans. But I am still praying for a VBAC. We will just see what little boy has in store. i do know it is out of my control and he will get here one way or another. I am getting excited more and more for him and wanting to see his baby face. Excited about having a little boy around and how that will be different from his sister too. I think she is going to be crazy about brudder. She still asks to kiss him and says can she sit by him on couch. cute things like that.
So place your bets......

rubbing the cold arm

she started pre-k this week and loves it.

My big 36.5 week belly

I have to mention this and can't believe that I haven't posted about this before. Arden has to rub my "cold arm" before she can go to bed. I don't know if that is my right or left but she tells me each night which one is colder. Probably because my arms are mainly fat at this point and the fat gets cold quicker as opposed to muscle. She will ask to do this if I rock her or lay down by her. She will even wake up in the night and say "mom, give me the cold one" when she sleeps in the bed with me. It is really hilarious. We never had a blanket or animal but we do have a "cold arm" for sucurity blanket. She won't rub Matt's either...I am the only lucky one.
ha.
We are getting closer to seeing "brudder". Last night I showed Iris my belly and when I did Arden yelled "no, you can't bother my brother--he's mine--and ran up to hug him". I think it won't be too much longer. I will spare you the details but some things are changing. Mainly that good old "kicked in the crotch feeling" is a permanent fixutre.

why is my coffee un-appealing?

It's just the strangest thing. You know I LOVE coffee and have often called myself the coffee snob however even the "good" coffee does not appeal to me...not even in the morning. I have been drinking bottled water at breakfast. Is that strange or what? Maybe it is a first/last trimester thing but it just started and I have a month (yesterday) till Brock is here. I don't know what is up with it. Overall, I am feeling better than i would have expected at this point. Today and yesterday feel like he could stay in there another month and I would be fine. Don't really like looking so big-but that comes with being pregnant to 9 months right? I do have to get up tons in the night but that won't change except I will be also getting up changing diapers and possibley hearing crying so i can't complain about that. My back hurts occasionally but nothing severe. I have lots of BH contractions but I am not THAT uncomfortable yet. Not enough to try some of the tricks that I hear people doing to get their babies to come on. I know what is like to have little early baby and it isn't that good. What is a couple more weeks. Somebody remind me that I said this in a couple weeks. Anyhow, I hope my love for coffee comes back. You know I even like the idea of it----just isn't tasting right. I still try. I try to drink it some but it hasn't been the same.

the mouth

Arden went for her 3 year appt at the doc today. He said everything looked awesome. She is in the 98% for tallness and weight. He was happy that she is starting pre-k because he said her verbal skills were really excellent. She was telling him that I was mad at my pants last week--which was true. The belly was pushing them down. Anyway, he proceeded to give me some encouraging words that Arden would be testing the limits at this age. He said 3 is a very difficult age for girls and they are just going to see what all they can get away with. He said it is not uncommon for them to test their mothers especially. He said sometimes it may feel like I am making no progress with her but just to be consistant with making sure that I deal with defiant behavior-where she likes to act like the boss.
I am kinda glad that he brought it up because we have been having tons of that lately. It does make me mad when i am really tired and we have had a long day-basically when i am out of patience. However on a reg. basis I don't really mind it. It is actually pretty funny sometimes. He actually suggested that it will be a quality that will be good for her later in life because she will be independent and have leadership abilities. Yeah, but she might kill her momma in the meantime of teenage years. ha. No really, we have had some funny times lately. you can never ever tell what she will say. Sometimes I will tell her to eat her food and she will look at me and tell me to eat. I could smack her little mouth 3-4 times in a row and she will repeat whatever it is. I have had to count to 3. I have given warnings. I have made her put toys back for talking "ugly" to which she might reply "you were being ugly first". I am telling you--the 3's are a different world away from the compliant 2 year old that never told me "no". I have really been so blessed for most of her life so far. She can go anywhere and do anything and stay up late and go to dinner with us and we never have a problem. She is just realizing that she has an opinion that can be voiced at times. She is still very good but I thought I would share this horrific experience that we had the other night.
I was tired but needed to make a walmart run. Didn't want Matt to let her sit and watch tv so I took her with me. Soon as we got there we got 2 waters out of vending machine and before we even got a buggy we made our first trip to potty. Let me say she has been horrible lately of trying to open door when I am sitting my newly huge bottom on the toilet and today was no exception. There was no door hanger so here I am with my purse around my neck and holding 2 water bottles. She is touching pad trash can and jumping (doing her exercise) while holding on to the handicap safety grips. She proceeds to take her bottle and is licking the outside. I tell her to stop because it's nasty and then she drops it on ground so it goes rolling. Outside of the bathroom, I ask if she wants to sit in front or back of buggy-she cries and says she wants to walk. Walking in the walmart equals me nagging to hurry up and her touching everything and asking if we can get it so I say no. She proceeds to cry while I hoist her 45lb into the front seat of buggy. As we are walking to back of store she still has tears and everyone was looking. I tell her if she doesn't "can it" I am taking her back to the bathroom to "give her something to cry about". She stops immediately and goes into her latest favorite movie voice-CORALINE. She says in a very loud and dramatic voice "I want to be with my REAL mom and dad! I want you to LET ME GO". If child services really worked in the good ol' State of Tn. I am sure they were getting called from other women pushing their buggies. I just have to laugh. She is too funny sometimes. I just get to the breaking point and then sometimes like that happens. She also had to go to potty really bad just as I was getting in line with a whole buggy of groceries. I asked her to hold it till we got home. She did till we got to car and got all groceries in. Then she was holding herself and said her pee pee was hurting her. We had to go back in to the bathroom AGAIN. I called mom on the way home and asked her how she kept from beating her children. She just laughed.
Just thought I would share a day in the life lately. Here is a picture of someone who thinks she does no wrong.

surprise

I had a great doc appointment today. I have been anxious because of this whole taking shots every weeek and being taken off exercise at 30 weeks and Arden being a premie. But today the doc said I am officially not high risk for pre-term any more. No centimeters dialated and no effacement so now the body should just be able to do it normal because it looks like I am not in hyperdrive this time. So exciting. I had the hospital bags packed just in case and have been trying to get ready like a mad woman. I am even going to go to bellydancing tonight since he said I could resume normal activities. I won't be walking 4 miles a day but some walking wouldn't hurt as long as I don't over do it. I am DONE DONE DONE with shots!!! Yippee! So, I was all releived about those things. Boy is weighing about 5lb10oz and he said there could be as much as half a pound in error so he could be about 6lb. Way to go little boy. We still have never gotten a good picture of him from ultrasound. i have had tons of them and no good pictures. Arden only had a few and tons of good pictures. So he will be a surprise boy. I did have a dream that we saw a head-dot on his ultrasound one day last week. ha. It was in the same place as Arden's and I was like...what is up with that. I make babies with head dots.

Anyway, another big surprise when I came to work after doc appt. Mom and Chas and Andy had painted the old nasty wood paneling back office where I usually rock Arden and decorated it like a nursery for the kiddos.It had dad's old magazines and just a mish-mash of stuff junked back there. I was so excited and shocked. I have been wanting to paint that for ages. it was the best surprise. Not just because it is so cute but because I have been worried about having to come back to work much earlier this time with the two kiddos and feeling a tad overwhelmed. i am a control freak and don't want other people doing my job either so I haven't really taught anyone how to do it and we don't have that many employees anyway. Grammy may have to pick me up after that first week home and bring me to do payroll or she can just bring my laptop and printer to my house. I don't know. I have thought it will be kinda yucky to have to rush back from being at home to the office without all that good watching tv in the middle of the day and letting Arden play with a new baby at home. This really helps though. I feel so excited about them having a room. at the shop. All the silly paint is really out of place in our shop but so great for a nap spot and place to rock or play etc. Just perfect.

oh no, it can't be

I am so hoping i am wrong and it was just creases from sitting in my jean shorts. But-it could be the beginning of some very low stretch marks. Never had any with Arden so I am hoping that I am wrong.They are very low so it is hard to tell. I can't really see down there and Arden never dropped that low so it is a diff. experience. Arden and i went shopping today. We probaby made it to Hamilton Place at just before 11 and maybe home at 5. That is all that both of us could take. We went to the mall and pier one,home goods, world market, etc. We went in tons of stores. I did have some contractions and I would have to go find somewhere to sit. Arden was ready to go and so was I. We did get some cute things for the house and of course Pier 1 candles. They are simply the best, even though not the cheapest. i love them. We also got some clearance stuff for ard from gymboree and we had a 30% coupon so it was awesome. I am just resting with feet up on the couch. I saw this girl (at the kids place area) that was due the end of Oct. Her poor ankles were huge swollen. It made me very thankful that I didn't have that. So maybe i get a few stretch marks but maybe i get to avoid swollen ankles......maybe.

getting back on schedule

Mom has been constantly reminding me that I need to get Arden back on a nap schedule before school starts back etc. I have been so lazy with her lately. it is hard to rock a 45lb kid when you have a 30lb belly in the way. Did i mention exhausting? I am straining my guts loose to get her from rocker to the bed etc. We have busy too and short-handed at the shop so i can't always leave my desk at 2pm to rock her. I have just been letting her do whatever since we got back from vacation a month ago and since she turned 3 but what usually comes of that is an exhausted kiddo at the end of the work day. She will fall asleep on the way home or will stay up and by 9pm she will be laughing to stay awake. So yesterday was a perfect example as you can see from the picture. We were very busy and Jerry wasn't here so dad brought her bed out behind my desk--notice the file cabinets in the background. She just passed out. She is down already for today and I am hurrying to do some bills and maybe run out to get a couple things if i can. I have no energy after work is over and in an hour i can get those things. We will see.

34 weeks and counting

I went to the doc this morning and it was a very uneventful appointment--which is a good thing. I have been kinda anxious because I had Arden this week--on Wednesday.I definately had some symptoms that I have not had with little boy and the main thing was that I was already having some pretty good contracctions and she was not head down. The doctor checked my bp and the baby's heart rate and both were very good. My fluid levels looked good too and they were a little low with Arden-which complicated an already complex situation. This was a very reassuring visit. The doc's exact words were "i am very pleased with this pregnancy and how it is going-I think you will have a very successful vaginal birth this time". Hooray! Boy is still head down and he said all the cramping feelings that I am having at night can be attributed to the body releasing relaxin with is a hormone that causes your joints to loosen. He said that usually causes aching in the hips and in my case-legs. He said just watch for contractions that won't slow down and try to take it easy after work. I have been going home and eating pb&j everynight and nesting and watching movies with Arden. We watched Chronicles of Narnia last night in our bathrobes and ate popcorn. It was great. I am getting so excited for boy!!! For some of you who know me, I like surprises. I like to plan but i also like surprises like sweet notes for no reason (maybe Matt should read this :)) and surprise Christmas presents etc. I am feeling the same way about boy--I don't know when he will come but I am excited that it might not be the same as last time and it might be cool. I know it will hurt-I am not that dumb but I just mean a whole new experience of going to the hospital because the baby is coming and all that jazz. We have not been able to see him well at all on the ultrasounds so I am excited to see if he has hair or if he looks like daddy or whatever he looks like. I am just excited for a new experience-even if it is scary or strange-it will be something i always remember. So, I will know alot more about dialation and the like next week. Until then I will be resting and nesting.

oh and I almost forgot-----Matt bought a fan at walmart last night and it is the best thing since sliced bread. no sweating at night and saving money on the electric bill.

only 1 more to go!!!!

HOOORAY! I am almost done with the shots. I had my next to last shot today. I have one more next Friday and then I am free. They are the P17 hydroxyprogesterone shot to prevent preterm effacement. Mom has been so good to give them to me since 20 weeks.

don't forget-Miracle treat day

it's today. me and shelly are having a date there tonight. girl scout blizzard here i come.

some porch pics--all complete

I still don't have furniture for the open part and Matt has been working on the grass. It is just too hot to be out there for this bigger version of me right now. I can go out with my coffee in morning but i am not really waking up early enough for that right now. Cherishing my sleep. I had to include this picture of my girl because it was just too cute!!!! She fell asleep watching a movie. Also, they are doing another Miracle treat day at Dairy Queen on Thursday.I am definately going this time




.

running out of room..

just have a look for yourself. 32.5 weeks.
whoa. still have a belly button though. And still amazingly feel okay with much pressure. need a belly bra. ha.

get a blizzard today..you know you want one

In Chatt town today is miracle treat day at DQ. I know the advertisements say Aug 13th but Chatt-town does things a little different. I was in there Tuesday getting my first blizzard (maybe not last) of this pregnancy and they told me if i came in thursday and bought a blizzard then all the proceeds would go to the local children's miracle network hostpital. Do you really need any more incentive to get a blizzard than that. If you need another reason I will give you this---the blizzard pictured above is the THIN MINT girlscout blizzard. it is just for the month of August and I am thinking it could be extremely awesome. The guy at the window this week told me it was the best one that they made. YUM!!!

growing baby boy

He is getting so big. 4lb 1oz. I went to the doctor and he is already head down. I could tell on Sunday when i was walking around target. I had tons more pressure and had to go to the bathroom about 5 times in an hour. I feel very good though. I am so thankful that I don't feel like poo.......yet. I know everyone says that last month will kill me. I am even sleeping better too.
I am getting together all the things we might need that I borrowed from last time. I am anxious but really excited about the unknown. I am praying that this delivery is much different than last time. I am also concentrating on having a more grace filled attitude toward myself and the ideals that I have for myself post-baby. I was not realistic at all last time.When i get frustrated with myself those are some of the worst times of my life. I thought I would be back up at 5am and running and nursing a baby and doing it all with one hand tied behind my back. I laugh at that now. So I am looking forward to a little down time and growing our family and getting to know a new little personality.
I had a shower last weekend at my house. it was so great!!!! I need pictures of how awesome the flowers are. They are still making my house look awesome. Still eating the cake too---strawberry with cream cheese icing. :) It was just really nice to be able to talk to everyone and have everyone in my home. I enjoyed it so much.
I will try to keep everyone updated on what doc says on the 17th. It was this next visit where they put me in the hospital to have Arden. I am thinking that will not happen this time but it still makes me a little scared. I did not suspect it at all with her--not that early. but he has been checking much more closely this time and I have been taking the shots weekly to try to keep this boy in. He is already head-down so that is different than his sister who was standing up. I would post a pic but none of the 3d ones have been any good. maybe next time.

catch up post

So- we have been on vacation and Arden turned 3 since I last posted. The party was great thanks to Matt and Chelsea. I am so glad that they were in control of it and it was so cute. Everyone keeps saying how are we going to top it next year and I say "we aren't". I voted for cake at home this year and that is what she might get next year. ha. She did have a sinus infection and had a fever the 2 nights leading up to her party. I was exhausted from her sleeping on top of me -not very well at that. That is another reason why i was so thankful for my husband and sister. I would not have made it through the day. Might have even had to cancel. She didn't feel great on her party day but we are lucky that we have a kid who can act not sick even when she feels bad. Who wouldn't act happy with that much candy. ha.


We went to Destin for a week. It was really fun. I just lounged in the pool the whole week chatting it up with family. Arden loves the pool so she was fine to stay in there 8 hours a day. I wore 50spf and a hat but still got the spotty face. Mom has given me some face stuff since then (she has spots too) and it was really helped to lightent them. don't moms always know best? We really enjoyed ourselves but I was glad to get home and back to routine. I am such the creature of habit.




Now I am in frantic nesting mode and trying to keep the anxiety down. I don't have the crib assembled or anything and I am within 2 months of my due date. Arden came 2 weeks from now and while I don't expect him and pray he will stay in--I am trying to get ready. I just got his room painted this weekend and am still working on our playroom remodel. It is hectic. I have my shower this weekend so i am hoping to get it done before then since it is at my house. I figure people would like to see a crib at least set up. Yesterday I had contraction episode. 11 braxton hicks in under an hour. It was enough to scare all of us. I keep journals with both pregnancies and I did the same thing with Arden on the same day. But with her I had 7 BH in an hour and the doc said if I had more than 10 I needed to head to Erlanger downtown for him to check me. I did not want to do that yesterday so I just waited and tried to rest so they would stop. They did and I didn't have any more for the rest of the night. I have a doc's appt next Monday so in the meantime I will just take it easy and try to relax. It is just too early for all this mess. I have been taking it so much easier this time. I rest when I feel tired and don't try to push as hard. Please pray for me though. I want this boy to go closer to due date...it will be better for him...and much easier on me since i know how scary it is with a premie. I am going to lay on couch with my legs crossed if I have to. Also pray that everything goes well for me have a reg. delivery this time. It is something that I really want to experience in my life and Doc says as long as baby is head down we should have no repeat C section this time. The only road block is that if I had him on a weekend--one of the doc's in his practice refuses to deliver a prior c section patient. So even if I was 10cm dialated he would put me in surgery. I am not happy with that at all. I am really hoping that I don't have to have one. It will be better for me in the long run if we ever have another baby. So just pray that I go close-within 3 weeks of term and that I can have a reg. birth. I am praying about it much more as we get closer. I also pray that he will be easier to breast feed than Arden. She was so stubborn but i was more stubborn. I know I will tough it out but wouldn't it be wonderful if it was easy. just wishful thinking. Anyway. I will try to post more. My bellybutton is getting close to becoming flat so that it funny. Meatball is getting big.

party prep

MY NEW OFFICE



We are out on the new porch eating cereal and using the lap top and making a list of party suplies. It is insane how much i love the screen porch. I can forget about my living room. I am so happy that we get wireless out here. I want to live out here as long as it is early morning or evening when there is a breeze. So Matt and Chelsea are busy making lists about what kind of candies we need and all that. It is funny. They are so planned. This is going to be the craziest party for a 3 year old. I was happy to have just cake at the house but Matt has been pumping in her brain for the last 3 months that she is having a willy wonka party. So there will be pictures to come I am sure of it. especially of Matt dressed up as Willy Wonka.