1 week old

So we have a 1 week old boy now. I have stopped setting the alarm at night to feed him every 3 hours. I know i always did that with Arden but I am following mom's conventional experienced wisdom of not waking a sleeping baby. Plus I am pretty zonked at night and will take an extra hour if he will give it to me. He usually still wakes up every 3 but will sometimes take a 4 or 4.5 stretch before he wakes up for the morning. He is a good boy. He is still nursing well and is cuddle bug. I have had some of the typical hormone related feelings this week and they have really ran the gamit. I have been so happy that I cried, proud, feeling like a million bucks, sad for no reason, cry because I am lonely home alone, anxious about baby getting sick, laid back........you just name it. Overall, I have been healing so well and feeling great myself. I am really enjoying him so much more than I was able to with Arden. I just love holding him and rubbing his head. He is precious.

Brock Matthew Beach

Our son is here. He was born 9/17 at 6:40am. 7.3oz and 19.5in. I will post later with the details of the birth. I was able to have a VBAC and it was an awesome experience. God worked out so many of the things I had prayed for with the delivery and just with Brock's personality in general. This has been a very different experience to have a 38week 4 day baby than a 34 week 4 day baby. those 4 weeks really make a difference. They make a difference for mom and baby. You are ready for the baby to be here and are more prepared mentally instead of being kinda sad that it is all over. I feel sure that I would not have done as well with a vaginal birth if I had not had so much time to prep my mind--and still it was very difficult to push through the hard parts of labor. My recovery so far has been awesome!!! I can't imagine having a c section this time with a 3 year old at home. It would have been horrible. I would have had someone there constantly to help with her and me. At least I feel okay and I can do stuff around the house. I can sit up quickly without pain this time too. It was bad the day that he was born but by the second day I could not even believe the difference in how your body feels after. I only take tylenol for pain--even in the hospital. That is just so different.
Brock is such a good eater. This was one of the biggest obstacles with Arden. He even latched on in the recovery room right after he was born. I can't tell you how it changes things to be able to nurse your baby in 30 min and then get some rest or go on to do something else without it being an hour to get him awake and then an hour fighting with them to nurse. Matt says that we are already to about the 3 month mark if we compare this with our Arden timeline. Every feeding was emotional and frustrating. I couldn't think about anything else and she was so tiny and fragile. Baby boy can already hold his head a little and I am just not as worried about him physically. 2lbs is a big difference in babies. Arden did not weigh 7lbs before 2 months.
We are trying to get used to life at home. Matt is helping tons. I sometimes think that the hardest part is keeping Arden from hurting the baby or just dealing with her not liking to share our time. She usually wants to get what she asks for "now" and she is having to wait. This is a very good thing for her to learn but it is a learning process. Also juggling making sure that I am spending time reading to her and holding her in the bed and not doing too much disciplining. She has been doing this little drama queen stuff lately and I can't stand it. She loves her brother so much ! she is really proud of him and likes him to be in the room with her all the time and to hold him. She is super protective of him.
I am just enjoying this time. I know this could be my last time with a newborn and it is so much sweeter this time around. I am really enjoying having a little baby to hold and I am not really a newborn person. I consider myself a toddler person more. But this time with him has been extremely sweet.
I had my first hormone crying breakdown yesterday. Arden was one side sleeping and he was in his pack and play on the other side and I just started bawling. This should be my nap time---they were both asleep. BUT I could not stop crying. God is so good to me. I don't deserve. It is hard not to feel overwhelmed with the goodness of it all.

prayers please

So, as most of you know since I am a texting maniac--we had some false labor on Friday night. I think I am finally rested enough to be able to "own up" to some of the reason for it and think clearly about what to write. Last week I was slamming everything in-thinking this could be my last week. I was getting ready for our Sunday auction (which ironically I missed). I was cleaning my desk up for "after auction" in case someone was actually sitting at my desk instead of me---yes, control freak here. I had to get in some walks with Shelly since I haven't got to do that lately and thought that would move baby down. I had to get in extra time with Arden so that she doesn't feel like second best when brother finally gets here. I have been cleaning and even had a night to myself of dinner and shopping. I have been on overload. I just knew this baby was getting close and wanted everything done. I can be so psycho when this mentality kicks in-I will just keep slamming extra things in and when things go wrong--wow! you had better watch out.

So, Friday I started having back labor contractions every 5-7 minutes from the time I arrived at work. I have always thought I would labor at home/work for as long as possible so i just walked through them and kept track of how often and long they were. This went on all day till I left at 6pm. then I went out to dinner with family and to coffee with Chelsea after that. I had let Arden spend night with mom and dad since Mom was concerned this was it. I got home about 10pm and Matt and I were actually going to have a night at home to watch 9/11 tribute on the history channel. Well, for about 2 days I had told Matt dog was scratching alot. Had even thought I saw something on him but when i asked Matt to check he started acting like I was being typical crazy pregnant woman and said it was an ant. Well, dog was scratching again and I went and held him down. Looked at his belly and there it was--same little friend I had seen the other day. I went ballistic. Matt still refused to check but did go to walmart at 10pm and buy flea bath/spray/upholstery cleaner etc. I was almost in tears. Here I am 3-5 min apart contractions and I have a dog with fleas. I am not happy. I am on verge of melt down. Matt still won't check dog-would rather act like I am just a crazy person so that is putting me that much further over the edge. Finally he gets home and checks to say I was right. I am in a frenzy of cleaning, spraying, and putting up all babies stuff as far from dog as possible. I am so grossed out from preg.nesting hormone I want to puke. So finally that passes and I am contracting way more. Harder too. Hard to talk through them and many trips to bathroom, if you get me. I decide it is about 1am and I am exhausted--maybe I can lay down and they will go away. Well they don't. In fact at 3am I just up out of bed in pain and say that's it. Call doc-he says go to L&D. So we are there about 3:30 and get the luck of the most "hating their job & sleep deprived nurses on planet". They are walking so slow while I am contracting. Worst part was when the girl checks me (in the most non-gentle fashion that I have ever been checked) and says I might be contracting but am still 1cm. I wanted to cry and go home. Both I and doc thought it would be showtime. I had to stay for an hour contracting in bed and nothing happening. I was super disappointed and exhausted. They gave me some pain pill which did nothing but successfully almost made me pass out. great! It was like icing on cake. I ended up being there till 6am when they let me go home still contracting. I was so discouraged. Took me till about 7:30am to get to bed (after just sitting in bathtub) and stop contracting enough to sleep. On Saturday, I felt like a Truck had ran me over about 10000000 times and left me for dead. I stayed in bed all day. i was just trying to get my mind around that I was going ot get to go through all this again. Or that I was actually going to have to have another c-section if it happened like this again. I was so scared I would start contracting again that I just stayed in bed. I lost my plug Sat. morning too and that scared me even more about what crazy mean nurse had did when she was checking me. I was pretty beat down. Mom told me that I was going to stay in bed and let my body recoup and get ready for round 2 and let boy get ready until my Wednesday's doc appt.
So that is what I have been doing. It has been a blessing in disguise. I have gotten to rest before/enjoy just watching tv with ARden. I have been doing little things around house but getting in bed anytime that I start contracting. Just don't want my over active uterus to force boy out when he obviously is not ready to come. It has also given me some time to let the fact that I am not control of this situation sink in. I am such a control freak and that was part of my problem with Arden. When things didnt go the way I planned, I had so much disappointment with my expectations. So, I am doing lots of praying that I will be able to do this and God will let my little man get here safe and in his time and if it isn't too much to ask that I won't have to have a c-section. But also praying for the perspective to know that God is in control and I don't need to be disappointed no matter how it turns out. So pray for me. I think he will be here very soon.

doc's appt & bets

So, went to the doc and it looks like the contractions have been working. HOORAY! I am so excited because if i can progress some then i won't have repeat c-section. I am 1cm dialated and 80% effaced. The doc also stripped my membranes--I know that sounds really yucky but it should help things along. I am having some serious contraction episodes at night and in the mornings so he said when those don't die off then I can meet him at the hospital. I am having some labor type contractions but they usually only last about 30 min and I go back to regular braxton hicks. So, I am anxious about the surprise! so exciting not to know. He said he doesn't think i will have the baby this week but just in case he is on call this weekend. He said it depends on how the exam effects me. Here is how everyone lines up.
9/9/09 today- Kristen, Diane, Me ( i am picking 2 dates because I am the mom and I get to)
9/12/09 -Emma (her bday)
9/13/09-Lois (it's alice's bday and auction day)
9/14/09-Jerry & Andi
9/15/09-Matt and Abbbie M. (it is Aunt Tracies bday)
9/16/09-Amanda
9/18/09- my mom & Courtney & Chelsea
9/19/09- me (my other pick), Lucy P.
9/20/09-Julie V.
9/21/09-MIMI
9/26/09-Buddy
9/28/09-my due date.
10/15/09-Uncle Larry

Laura H. says this week but she hasn't given me a date yet. We shall see...

taking bets------------

So, I have a doc's appointment on wednesday. I am 37 weeks today. Our baby is now officially full term so I am saying--come when you are ready little boy,just make sure you are safe. Mom is voting 9/18, chas says this week but i haven't got a day yet, Matt is voting 9/12-his mom's bday, I am saying 9/9/09 or 9/19/09 because when I am old these will be easy to remember and 9/29/09 is a day late--plus it's my birthday. I am anxious to hear what everyone things. I have plenty of intense braxton hicks--pretty much all day. I have to get up and walk. I have some cramps but my back does not hurt (so I am lucky lucky lucky). I have some real contractions at night and when i go to the bathroom. But nothing timeable. I am sleeping good and dreaming tons--so these are things to be thankful for. Some things I am not so thankful for is the fact that most days I can wake up and feel like I can take on the world, but then by 4pm I feel like poo. On Saturday we went to Saddie's bday party at the pumpkin patch. It is such a cool play ground. Here is a picture of the big slide that I went down with Arden about 5 times. It is fast and maybe my doc wouldn't approve but we are close now and it was very fun.




Anyway, I felt better at Sadie's party than I did at Arden's (almost 2 months ago). I was thinking -I got this preg. thing in the bag. I am 9+ month pregnant and completley fine. Well, i felt pretty good rest of the day. watched UT game. went to fabric store. cleaned house. but about 5pm I started hurting so bad that I had to go outside and walk. I am one of these people that feels better with defered pain than just laying down or sitting when it hurts. i will be the woman in labor walking around hosptial. Matt suggested that I walk where it is flat and he can see me so we went to rivermont park & he let Arden play on playground while i walked for 30min. It did help but then I have the achey crotch from the weight. I figured it was time to stop then. So this a typical day. Feel really good/ then really bad. Matt kept asking if we should call doc. I said no way because I was not in labor . I told him doc can't do anything about feeling terrible pressure and will just want to know how far apart contractions are. this was like one never ending contraction. So, anyway. I could go to my due date with no progression this time and have a c-section. i am trying to mentally prepare in case all these contractions don't amount to a hill of beans. But I am still praying for a VBAC. We will just see what little boy has in store. i do know it is out of my control and he will get here one way or another. I am getting excited more and more for him and wanting to see his baby face. Excited about having a little boy around and how that will be different from his sister too. I think she is going to be crazy about brudder. She still asks to kiss him and says can she sit by him on couch. cute things like that.
So place your bets......

rubbing the cold arm

she started pre-k this week and loves it.

My big 36.5 week belly

I have to mention this and can't believe that I haven't posted about this before. Arden has to rub my "cold arm" before she can go to bed. I don't know if that is my right or left but she tells me each night which one is colder. Probably because my arms are mainly fat at this point and the fat gets cold quicker as opposed to muscle. She will ask to do this if I rock her or lay down by her. She will even wake up in the night and say "mom, give me the cold one" when she sleeps in the bed with me. It is really hilarious. We never had a blanket or animal but we do have a "cold arm" for sucurity blanket. She won't rub Matt's either...I am the only lucky one.
ha.
We are getting closer to seeing "brudder". Last night I showed Iris my belly and when I did Arden yelled "no, you can't bother my brother--he's mine--and ran up to hug him". I think it won't be too much longer. I will spare you the details but some things are changing. Mainly that good old "kicked in the crotch feeling" is a permanent fixutre.