prayers please

So, as most of you know since I am a texting maniac--we had some false labor on Friday night. I think I am finally rested enough to be able to "own up" to some of the reason for it and think clearly about what to write. Last week I was slamming everything in-thinking this could be my last week. I was getting ready for our Sunday auction (which ironically I missed). I was cleaning my desk up for "after auction" in case someone was actually sitting at my desk instead of me---yes, control freak here. I had to get in some walks with Shelly since I haven't got to do that lately and thought that would move baby down. I had to get in extra time with Arden so that she doesn't feel like second best when brother finally gets here. I have been cleaning and even had a night to myself of dinner and shopping. I have been on overload. I just knew this baby was getting close and wanted everything done. I can be so psycho when this mentality kicks in-I will just keep slamming extra things in and when things go wrong--wow! you had better watch out.

So, Friday I started having back labor contractions every 5-7 minutes from the time I arrived at work. I have always thought I would labor at home/work for as long as possible so i just walked through them and kept track of how often and long they were. This went on all day till I left at 6pm. then I went out to dinner with family and to coffee with Chelsea after that. I had let Arden spend night with mom and dad since Mom was concerned this was it. I got home about 10pm and Matt and I were actually going to have a night at home to watch 9/11 tribute on the history channel. Well, for about 2 days I had told Matt dog was scratching alot. Had even thought I saw something on him but when i asked Matt to check he started acting like I was being typical crazy pregnant woman and said it was an ant. Well, dog was scratching again and I went and held him down. Looked at his belly and there it was--same little friend I had seen the other day. I went ballistic. Matt still refused to check but did go to walmart at 10pm and buy flea bath/spray/upholstery cleaner etc. I was almost in tears. Here I am 3-5 min apart contractions and I have a dog with fleas. I am not happy. I am on verge of melt down. Matt still won't check dog-would rather act like I am just a crazy person so that is putting me that much further over the edge. Finally he gets home and checks to say I was right. I am in a frenzy of cleaning, spraying, and putting up all babies stuff as far from dog as possible. I am so grossed out from preg.nesting hormone I want to puke. So finally that passes and I am contracting way more. Harder too. Hard to talk through them and many trips to bathroom, if you get me. I decide it is about 1am and I am exhausted--maybe I can lay down and they will go away. Well they don't. In fact at 3am I just up out of bed in pain and say that's it. Call doc-he says go to L&D. So we are there about 3:30 and get the luck of the most "hating their job & sleep deprived nurses on planet". They are walking so slow while I am contracting. Worst part was when the girl checks me (in the most non-gentle fashion that I have ever been checked) and says I might be contracting but am still 1cm. I wanted to cry and go home. Both I and doc thought it would be showtime. I had to stay for an hour contracting in bed and nothing happening. I was super disappointed and exhausted. They gave me some pain pill which did nothing but successfully almost made me pass out. great! It was like icing on cake. I ended up being there till 6am when they let me go home still contracting. I was so discouraged. Took me till about 7:30am to get to bed (after just sitting in bathtub) and stop contracting enough to sleep. On Saturday, I felt like a Truck had ran me over about 10000000 times and left me for dead. I stayed in bed all day. i was just trying to get my mind around that I was going ot get to go through all this again. Or that I was actually going to have to have another c-section if it happened like this again. I was so scared I would start contracting again that I just stayed in bed. I lost my plug Sat. morning too and that scared me even more about what crazy mean nurse had did when she was checking me. I was pretty beat down. Mom told me that I was going to stay in bed and let my body recoup and get ready for round 2 and let boy get ready until my Wednesday's doc appt.
So that is what I have been doing. It has been a blessing in disguise. I have gotten to rest before/enjoy just watching tv with ARden. I have been doing little things around house but getting in bed anytime that I start contracting. Just don't want my over active uterus to force boy out when he obviously is not ready to come. It has also given me some time to let the fact that I am not control of this situation sink in. I am such a control freak and that was part of my problem with Arden. When things didnt go the way I planned, I had so much disappointment with my expectations. So, I am doing lots of praying that I will be able to do this and God will let my little man get here safe and in his time and if it isn't too much to ask that I won't have to have a c-section. But also praying for the perspective to know that God is in control and I don't need to be disappointed no matter how it turns out. So pray for me. I think he will be here very soon.