day at home with my boy

Arden went camping with my parents and Matt is helping his sister move so it is just me and little boy at home today. So great. He slept in till 10:30 and I got up about 9 and got my book and coffee and got back into bed with him. He played in his bouncer while I showered and dried my hair and then we went to pick up some lunch. Of course the car seat made him tired so he is taking another little nap. He is so easy and snuggley. I am calling him "spoiled boy" or "brud" . This experience has been so amazing. I was laying in bed this morning trying to pray and I just kept saying "thank you, thank you , thank you" I just didn't even have the words. God has answered so many of my prayers with Brock. I had such a hard time with Arden as a newborn, even though she was a dream once we passed 6 months. I prayed that I just would not go back there this time around. So many specific prayers were answered about his delivery. It was nothing short of a miracle that I was able to go through with the VBAC. So many things had to be just right. Then he nursed right in the delivery room. Nursing has been enjoyable this time. It is just night and day from my experience last time. He sleeps in the night---as opposed to being up all night. I am just so blessed and pretty overwhelmed with how good God has been to our family. I don't know how to explain what changed when we had Brock. I just know that our family felt so much more complete and I thought it was complete before. I think all of us feel that way--Matt and Arden too. I also have taken the advice of one of my friends, Shelly, this time around. I remember he saying to me--give yourself some grace. I just felt so bad about how I was not back to normal right away. This time I am so not concerned with me and just trying to enjoy him. I know that it is partially my mental state that will dictate how the experience of these early months plays out in my memory. I was so overcome with fear after I had Arden---all the emotions were so overwhelming. I could barely function--I loved my baby so much and had to protect her. This time around I pray that God will keep Satan away. That I won't live in fear-that I can trush HIM. I was holding both him and Arden in the recliner the other night and I just felt like my heart would bust. They are both so precious to me. I still struggle with knowing that they are truly God's and not all MINE. I know they are mine to take care of and raise but I just feel so much pride and warmth and completion through my children. I can't imagine my life without them. God has been so good to our family. too good! I just don't deserve all of his blessings and so many answered prayers. Our God is big!!!!