complete mush ball

That was me on vacation. I kept wanting to post but was so sentimental I couldn't. I just kept laying on the couch and holding sweet girl and watching whatever movie for the millionth time and thinking about how lucky i was. I get to lay there and have her hugged up to me and feel baby boy just kicking away. It was precious to me. I do have such a loving kid. No kidding. She will ask to hold my hand in the car when I am in the front passenger seat--just because. You can tell she is so content just holding the hand. Or she will come get in my lap and lay her head on me for no reason and stroke my arm. She will say things like -Mom, I really love you- or -Mom, you are my best friend. I can't imagine how sad I will be when she says things like "you don't understand anything, mom, you are so out of it". or heaven forbid worse. I will be trying with every ounce of my being to remember these times. I am just telling you I will be trying to recount how she would tell me thank you for something as small as blow drying her hair or putting on her sun screen. I am telling you--I can't imagine how God could let his son die even if he knew it would save all of us. He would let his son walk this earth with no food, no one who really understood him, and no place to lay his head some times. I could not see my baby going through that. I would have to fix it. I was thinking about that all day Sunday. I was thinking I wonder if God loved Jesus in a little kid way like I love my girl. Like just love to kiss her head dot and rub her little hair while she sleeps and love her little girl smell. I am just a complete sap so that's all i got. What can I say--I am blessed.